The Armenian race is an obscure group of people. Thats to be expected when their population is somewhere around 6 million. A measly ratio when you consider an ethnic group like the chinese who’s population is a billion something. People who don’t live near Glendale or Fresno don’t really even know what an Armenian is. If you tell someone you are Armenian they most often think your are phonetically mispronouncing another word like “Albanian” or “Romanian.” So for educational purposes I have compiled a list of the most easily recognizable Armos (Armenians). If you don’t know what an Armenian is right now you definitely will after reading this blog.
Here is the list of the top 5 Armenians:
He goes by the infamous nickname of “Dr. Death.” In the 90’s Kevorkian was the poster child of euthanasia. He brought assisted suicide to the spotlight getting the taboo subject the media attention it deserved. He believed that people with terminal illness shouldn’t have to endure the agonizing pain of a slow death in a hospital but instead should be allowed the option of taking their own lives in a peaceful and tranquil manner in the comfort of their own homes. His work allowed many suffering citizens to forego the terrible process of their tortured death sentence to give up the ghost peacefully on their own terms. Although he was jailed in Michigan for his work he was a true maverick of modern medicine.
4. Raffi Cevoukian
In the 80’s He was once called “The Most Popular Childrens Singer in the English Speaking world. Raffi is best known for his classic hits “Baby Beluga and Bananaphone.” Throughout his career he was a regular troubadour entertaining millions of children with his music and infectiously catchy lyrics. His art carried simple messages about effecting change in the world and being conscious for the good of others. Raffi proved that music can be a medium to transmit ideas, with great efficacy, to three year olds with short attention spans. It was lucky that he got famous in the late 70’s early 80’s given that nowadays no parent would allow their kids to put on a song by someone who looked like they came out of Osama Bin Ladens Rat Pack.
3. Ana Kasparian
Also known by her incredibly Armo name Anahit Misak Kasparian. Ana ironically appears on a youtube news channel called “The Young Turks.” I say ironic because everyone knows about the long standing feud between the Armenians and Turks regarding events which did or did not (but most certainly did) occur in 1915. Cough *genocide* cough, excuse me I seem to have some unresolved issues stuck in my throat. Anyway an Armenian appearing on a youtube channel called “The Young Turks” is like a Jew appearing on a show called “The Nazi Party.” Regardless Ana Kasparian is throwing down for outspoken young people everywhere on this progressive/liberal channel which does a fantastic job at covering current events and exploring controversial topics News networks like Fox and MSNBC wouldn’t touch with a 20 foot pole.
Not to mention she is drop dead gorgeous.
2. Kim Kardashian
People always slam Kim for not having any talent but the truth is is that we live in a day and age when people can be famous for being famous. I know that sounds like a textbook misnomer but Kim found the fame formula and now she is running with it all the way to the bank. Fame is now a talent in itself and like Andy Warhol Kim is a philosopher of this new sensation called “celebritism.” She shows us that fame stands on its own and that ones doesn’t have to be a crooner or a movie star in order to obtain it. Sure she can’t juggle or walk a tight rope but she can hustle her name and brand herself like no one else. Nobody know’s your name or my name but everybody knows Kim Kardashian. At least she sets herself apart form the rest of us average bores.
1. Dan Bilzerian
Dan is quite possibly the coolest Armenian since Tigranes the Great. He is a poker master and has a successful instagram with millions of followers. After Dan won almost 100 million dollars in poker tournaments he decided to use his wealth to live the rockstar lifestyle. For shits and giggles he started uploading his antics onto instagram and gained a huge following making him Instagrams undisputed King. Since then he has also been dubbed “The New Hugh Hefner” because of the playboy class models he surrounds himself with on a daily basis. Dan truly seizes life by the cojones and embodies societies ideal of masculinity toting guns, money and beautiful women about like it was nobodies business. On top of that he uses the superior beard growing capability of his Armo genes to perfect the art of the man mane.