Friendship is More Valuable than Gold: Friend Types

Mingle with the good people we meet, yeah!

Good friends we have, oh, good friends we have lost
Along the way, yeah!
In this great future, you can’t forget your past;
So dry your tears, I seh. Yeah!

-Bob Marley.

Friendship is more valuable than gold.

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As social mammals we actually need other human beings.  Studies have shown that loneliness can have an ill effect on your health.  It leads to things like depression, anxiety and heart disease.  Loneliness can be deadly. Friends are social support.  They help you manage your emotions and find balance in the rigors of day to day life.

Are you the kind of person who has a few friends but you’ve made deep and strong connections with them?  Maybe you are the kind of person who makes as many friends as possible but never really sticks with any of them to create close bonds.   No matter how we socialize friends are essential to our well being and whether we are just looking for someone to have a drink with or a life long best friend, we need to know that friendship has many different forms.

Good and Bad Friends:

Believe it or not it is possible for there to be friends who can be emotionally draining. They can be social vampires that seem to almost suck the life out of you. Researchers call it “co-ruminating.” Some friends talk too much about problems and tend to focus on the negative.  A friend should be someone  who refills your emotional reservoirs and makes you feel vitalized, replenished and your spirits lifted.

Acquaintances 

Some relationships are purely superficial.  You stay afloat on the surface and fail to pierce into the dark depths of each others soul.  These friendships feel almost apocryphal, they tend to be day to day meanderings.

Old Friends

When a very good friend of yours who you have not seen in a very long time contacts you for no apparent reason other than they miss your friendship you will be surprised to find them transformed completely and yet changed little. That’s hard to understand.  They are still the person who you loved long ago yet there is this element of growth within them, you know that time has passed yet it seems there is no time between you at all.

New Friends

You may not have had a deep and riveting conversation where you’ve exposed the deep and dark corners of your soul yet you’ve set a date to go get a drink together.  Even your closest friends were once complete strangers to you at one point in your life.  Building new friendships takes time and energy.  Enjoy this process and you’ll soon have a close friend in no time.

Close Friends

This would be someone under the “best friend” category.  They are usually the first person you call when your in a bind.  They offer you support or they are your partner in crime. I’ve heard a best friend described like this:

 My best friend would never bail me out of a sticky situation because my best friend is always right there by my side when it happens. 

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Philosophically speaking the people we meet in our lives define us and shape us into who we are.

   The Existential Details: Human experience is insular.  We experience this beautiful universe from the lonely island of consciousness.  This is called “subjectivity” as you are the subject experiencing the universe.  You experience the universe and all of its beautiful things as…well…objects(even humans are objects experienced by you as a subject.) This is called “objectivity.”  You know you have objective quality other wise you’d be solipsistic e.g. there is nothing but my subject in the entire universe.

Because of the solitude of subjectivity you can never know how the universe experiences you except when you make a profound connection with another being that has it’s own subject to experience you as object.  In order to get the best information about this object quality of yourself you need that “other” being to disclose objective facts about you.  The best way to do that is:

  •  Makes sure you are as open and honest as possible: If information was false you would not be gaining a knowledge of your objective quality. Rather you’d be receiving a lie.
  • Earn each others trust: this means having experiences and developing a connection together to earn each others trust
  • Be sure that person accepts you for who you are and does not have some sort of intention to change you

Essentially friendship is you experiencing the universe and the universe experiencing you.   

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Friendship is rare do you know what I’m sayin to yah Friendship is rare.

-Jack Black

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