An Act of God on a Wednesday Afternoon

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“Do you want to hear about the most crazy thing that just happened to me?” My friend asks me over the phone.

I’m in the middle of eating and literally a piece of chicken is dangling out of my mouth and yet I am totally intrigued by that simple little sentence. “Want to hear something crazy that just happened to me?”  I think, “God that’s a riveting phrase to captivate an audience, I ought to use that as the headline of my blog.”

“What happened?”  I ask curiously as I am now locked into his every word.

“Get this, So today I had to mail out these items to clients. I figure I’ll swing by the post office around 4:00…You with me so far dude?”

I grunt something in the affirmative as I stuff down another piece of chicken into my mouth.

“So before I can take these packages I have to print up labels.  It usually doesn’t take that long to print em out so I put it off until 3:30.”
“The suspense is killing me,” I say sarcastically.

“Just wait.” he says, “So I sit down to turn on my computer and the entire system crashes on me.  I reboot it wondering why it all of a sudden dies on me, considering it had been working fine all morning.”

“It takes me like twenty minutes just to get everything working again.  I am getting frustrated as I try to get the label software working correctly but it keeps cracking out on me.  Something that was supposed to take me ten minutes ends up taking me over an hour.  By the end of it all I am seething in frustration and anger.”

“What was wrong with it?”

“I dunno,” he said, “It’s the weirdest thing… I finally get all the labels printed and applied but I am just too livid to even leave the house.  My wife, as she is walking out the door, sees me in this decrepit state of frustration and asks if I’d like her to drop off the packages on her way to work.And do you know what I say to her? ”

“No…what?”

“I say: You might as well, because the entire universe is conspiring to keep me from getting to the post office on time…the ENTIRE universe.

“That sounds crazy!” I say.

“That’s not the crazy part boss, I get a call from my wife about ten minutes later.  The entire place is sealed off with cops. Apparently at 4:00 a lone gunman walked  into the post office and holds the place up: At 4:00.”

I nearly choke on my food, “Do you mean to tell me that if you had made it to the post office on time…?”

“I would have had a gun pointed in my face.”

“Thats an act of Fucking GOD!”  I say.

“Divine intervention,” he says. “But the moral of the story…sometimes the things that piss us off and make us struggle are there for our own good in the end.”

Read about the actual post office robbery>>>>>>>>> RIGHT HERE! 

3 thoughts on “An Act of God on a Wednesday Afternoon

  1. The people that did get to the post office on time, was that also an act of god? Is your friend more loved by the deity than those people? More deserving? Less evil? Every time your friend does get into trouble, is that an act of the deity? It’d be more probable that Microsoft was trying to save his life than a deity.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This isn’t a religious text dude and I’m not trying to be clever and point toward some sort of canon here.
    My friend is not more loved by god because frankly there is no god in my opinion. I’m focusing on trying to capture the FEELING of this event, to communicate using LANGUAGE.
    Sorry if you didn’t like my terminology. Maybe instead of saying “It was an act of Fucking god” We should have sat down and done math problems or physics homework to explain how and why coincidences occur in nature. I’m an atheist too dude, I’m sure science can someday explain coincidences like these but I fucking suck at math and I don’t know shit about science so I’m sorry that I had to relegate myself to cliche theological references to convey my emotions. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!

    Like

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